5 Tips for Designing With Your Lover
Relationships can have their ups and downs. We know after 8 years of living, traveling, breathing, existing together that they involve a lot of different commitments to keep everything progressing forward. Now we ain't no relationship experts, so we won't be touting that sort of advice. However, we do feel that often times there is one thing that people don't talk about that often. Moving in with someone.
Sure it seems straightforward, but depending on where you're at in your life it can mean entirely different challenges need to be faced. If you just graduated college and you have no things, maybe it won't be too hard. But for some, belongings come with an entire back story that needs to be heard. For example: I have this amazing vintage couch from my grandma and you have a brand new West Elm Couch Du Jour. So... Who's couch moves in with us? It's almost like, now you're not just dating each other... you're dating one another's stuff too.
Honestly, these sort of design mash ups occur constantly. You'll inherit things, buy things on a whim and move to more than one place the longer you're together.Yes it's easy if you're both hip + cool designers on board with the same everything but if you're not - things can still be worked out.
Here are 5 tips we have for designing your space together.
1. Compromise doesn’t mean sacrifice.
Merging styles doesn’t mean destroying old ones. The point being, you shouldn’t have to throw away things you love just because someone else doesn’t. Our suggestion, talk about it. Start a conversation along the lines of, “What do you want to feel when you walk into the room?” It’s much easier to start with the big picture and work your way down to incorporating those things you want to keep.
2. Work to decide a new style together
If one person favors the whimsical and bohemian while the other is more refined edges and mid century - see if you can make fill your place with all the Boho Century Modern Chic vibes possible. We definitely think this is the most exciting part of moving in together/moving cities/apartments. Start by taking inventory. What do you currently own? What do you want to have in the space? What do you need to feel at home? Explore new ideas together - start by creating a mood board - anywhere you can share ideas and reference them as needed. That way, if you find yourself alone at a flea market and someone's not responding to your texts you'll have something to reference before making that ever exciting impulse buy.
3. Neutrals can be your savior
A neutral palette doesn't have to be reminisce of a hospital ward. In fact, it can really open a door to whimsy and expression. By building from a place of simplicity you have more freedom to explore textures and colors. For example: Cristian LOVES color, loud prints, and unique statement pieces that give Corey a visual panic attack. It’s not that either is in the right – it’s simply a matter of preference. What we’ve found works best is building from this point of neutrality. “Maybe instead of that rainbow couch, how about we get this monochromatic one and cover it with rainbow pillows and blankets” You can totally build your wants into a space without making it all about you.
4. Divide and Conquer
We all have things we’re good at and it is SO much easier if you can pick up on your signif other’s talents. If they’re showing you a bunch of cheap weird rugs – but you're only searching for and loving expensive ones, then it’s time to divide and conquer. Say, “Hey, I found these 5 amazing rugs but they’re way over our budget – have you seen anything similar on that rug warehouse website you saw???” This way, you could even move on to say, researching what to order on seamless for dinner.
5. Don’t Shutdown
This is really important. You can’t emotionally close off. If they don’t like anything you’re bringing to the table, talk about it. Go back to some earlier conversations about the macro feels in the space. If you both decided Boho-chic was your thing and they only want designer white everything then maybe boho-chic isn’t what you both wanted after all. Open communication is key, for really more than designing a space together, but also to ensure everyone feels warm and happy at home!
Bonus tip!
Food is good! No one can make any decisions on an empty stomach. Especially if you're like us and suffer from severe hanger episodes. We're pretty sure a Pad Thai delivery and some bourbon can solve any quarrel.
